How can a lawyer help me deal with a spouse who is controlling, uncooperative and withholds information because they don't want to get a divorce?


Judge getting angry in family court


Family lawyers can make a huge difference when your ex spouse is being difficult or aggressive.  Having a lawyer does a lot more than allowing you letting avoid interaction with your difficult ex by having the lawyer do it.  A good familylawyer will explain all of your options to bring your spouse into line, and advise which choice is the best for you.  Also, good family lawyers can make the fight “worth it” because they know how to handle difficult, bitter or angry ex-spouses so that that their clients get what they really want.  The law offers several alternatives for protecting a good spouse and bringing a bad one to justice.

The most difficult ex-spouses try to convince a family court judge, family arbitrator or mediator that they are the heroes and the innocent spouse is the villain. It is very important that a judge or arbitrator see things the way they are.  Judges spend little time with family court litigants.  They often have to make important decisions based on first impression or on written materials.  Saying the wrong things, or complaining about a bad spouse in the wrong way, may give the judge the wrong impression and allow a nasty ex-spouse to come across as an angel.  Good family lawyers know what judges want to hear, how to persuade the judge and make sure the judge sees what is really going on.  If the judge sees what a terrible person your ex-spouse is, the judge will want to help you fix the problems what you’re ex causes.

Good, experienced, family lawyers have seen all the tricks the bad spouse would use.  They know how to turn them around.  Good family lawyers know where to find the hidden money or the hidden income, the best way to deal with spouses who refuse to provide information, which may include convincing a judge to base decisions on the assumption that a spouse who is hiding information must have a good reason for doing so.  When it comes to children, good family lawyers cannot only help you to be a better parent after divorce, but they will also know the strategies for correcting the harm that the other parent may have caused.

If you ask almost any family court judge they will say that one of the biggest mistakes that separated spouses makes is not having a lawyer help them.  Not only do family lawyers know how to protect your rights, but they also can reassure you that you are taking the right position and doing what is best for yourself and your family, even when your ex is trying very hard to convince you otherwise.  That knowledge that you are doing the right thing and the ability to get you to the right resolution are the biggest benefits that a family lawyer can offer you.

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© John P. Schuman 2014