When Can I Throw Out My Ex’s Stuff?

Remaining in a house or apartment filled with reminders of your former relationship can be tough, and there is a natural urge to get rid of it all and start fresh. However, before you start piling their possessions on the front lawn, you should take heed. While you are, as an occupant, legally entitled to dispose of items that are abandoned in your home, you have to first make sure they are abandoned. To do this, you have to give reasonable notice to your spouse that you intend to get rid of the possessions and give them a reasonable opportunity to make arrangements to retrieve their belongings. Once you have done both, and your spouse fails to take advantage of the opportunity, you are legally entitled to dispose of the items. If you dispose of the items before doing those two things, you may be liable for the cost of replacing the items. In the worst-case scenario, your ex could have your criminal charged with theft or mischief if you impulsively destroy or get rid of valuables that do not belong to you. In all scenarios, it is best to consult with a knowledgeable family lawyer as to whether you have complied with these requirements.

Generally speaking, one shouldn’t be too quick to throw out their spouse’s possessions. A better avenue would be to give your spouse notice in writing of your intent to dispose of the items if they are not picked up. Provide a reasonable deadline for picking the items up and suggest reasonable times that they can come and pick up the goods. If they are not available at those times, you should make it possible for them to retrieve the goods when they are available. You should make it easy for them to retrieve their good: ensure that they can get into the house or apartment, that they can use the elevators to move (if in an apartment building), and so forth.

Also, if you were married to your spouse, you should be aware of s.24(1) of the Ontario Family Law Act, which lists the orders that a judge can make in relation to the matrimonial home. That section gives judges wide latitude in relation to the contents of the matrimonial home, including the power to order the preservation of the contents or the delivery of the contents to the spouse who has moved out. If you throw out your husband’s or wife’s belongings, it could seem like you were trying to circumvent the Family Court Judge and take things into your own hands. Judges do not like it when you do that. It can get you into a lot of trouble. (This page goes over other ways you get can get yourself in trouble in Family Court, and for additional big family law mistakes, watch the video below.) If you were married, it is prudent to talk to an experienced family law lawyer about the best course of action.

Also, if you were married, keep in mind that your spouse’s things may fall into the equalization calculation. If you throw out your spouse’s stuff, that may mean that your spouse can claim all those things had zero value on the date of separation, which can result in your spouse owing you less money, or even you owing your spouse more if all of your stuff stays in the calculation. In the worst-case scenario, your spouse may want all their stuff to go on your side, because you ended up with it and disposed of it, which can increase the amount you owe when your property is equalized after a marriage. 

If, after giving your spouse reasonable notice and opportunities, they choose not to avail themselves of their belongings or, even better yet, they say they do not want them in writing (email is fine), you can dispose of their property in a reasonable manner. It is very important to have written proof of that notice to avoid criminal charges or unfavourable adjustments to property calculations. Getting rid of the stuff does not mean a pile on the lawn. That makes you look bitter and angry at best – or like a mean person at worst. If you end up in Family Court having a judge think you are that type of person will not help you. A better strategy would be to donate the goods to a charitable organization that will put the property to good use. That way, the items will not go to waste and you can claim a charitable deduction for the value of the goods. But make sure you keep track of all your attempts to get your ex to take their stuff away.

To learn even more about how to deal with the consequences of the breakdown of a relationship, you may want to get a copy of this easy-to-understand book on the basics of Ontario Family Law as a paperback, or as a $9.99 e-book for Kindle, Kobo, or iPad/iPhone/Mac. You may also want to listen to this podcast or watch this video. You can also use the search on the right to find lots more articles about marriage and divorce.

After separation, it is always better to keep your emotions in check and act reasonably and strategically, not impassively. Doing that can keep you far ahead of your spouse and will allow you to come out better in your separation. To make sure you do the right things, you really should discuss your particular case with an excellent family law lawyer. Contact Certified Specialist in Family Law (and author of the book to the left), John Schuman, by emailing him, calling 416-446-5869, or using the contact form below. We answer all inquiries promptly and we can arrange for you to come in quickly for a consultation (charged at a reduced hourly rate).

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