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My Girlfriend Won’t Let Me Care For Our Newborn. What Can I Do?

Regrettably, it is not uncommon for young mothers to resist involving the child’s father in their young child’s life. These mothers often believe that they alone can provide the best care for their infant or young child, driven by a protective instinct. There are also cases where new fathers may have concerns about allowing the child to see the mother, but this is less frequent nowadays due to the emphasis on breastfeeding.

This situation is far from ideal. Newborns and young children benefit immensely from forming strong relationships with both parents. When this isn’t happening, it becomes imperative for the excluded parent to seek assistance from a top family lawyer. By doing so, they can work towards creating a healthier environment for the child and ensuring both parents play an active and meaningful role in their child’s life.


The idea that one parent should parent a child, even a newborn, alone is not consistent with the current research in social science and child development. Even at a very young age, children benefit from having both parents actively involved in their lives. Most family court judges recognize this. One parent refusing to allow the other parent to have any contact with a young child is a situation where it is possible to get an emergency family court order.

It is very important for children to have frequent, meaningful contact with both parents. That means both parents should be involved in feeding, bathing, and other parenting tasks (not just playing), at minimum, several times a week. Due to young children’s short memories and perception of time, frequency of contact is very important – more important than long periods of time. Although young age is not necessarily a reason why a child should not be spending overnights with both parents. 

What is often best for a young child, even a newborn, is to allow that child to develop a secure attachment to both parents through having both parents actively and frequently involved in the child’s care. Denying a child contact with one parent, or exposing the child to a lot of conflict, especially at a young age, can lead to long-term problems.
 
For all children, it is important to keep tensions down and avoid conflict between parents, because conflict between parents is very harmful to the child. To accomplish that goal and to provide the best hope for a joint custody situation, it is best for parents to first try parenting mediation, with a parenting professional, before going to court. The parenting professional can help the parents understand the children’s needs and help them work out a parenting plan that best suits the child’s needs at each stage of development. If the other parent will never agree to mediation, it is still important to propose it because judges get angry at parents who refuse to try to work out things for the kids without a fight. 

Before a parent goes to court, it is important for that parent to understand that judges base decisions only on what is in the child’s best interest. There are several factors that judges consider when deciding what is in a child’s best interest. To succeed in court, it is important for a parent to have evidence that what they want is in the child’s best interest.

John Schuman Guide to the Basics of Ontario Family Law book cover

You can get a lot more information about Ontario Family Law issues, including a comprehensive explanation of parenting cases (parenting time and decision making), child support, spousal support, property division, and most other common family law issues by downloading this $9.99 Kindle eBook, Kobo eBook, or iBook for your iPad or iPhone or ordering it from Amazon as a paperback. But to understand how the law works precisely in your situation, it is always best to speak to a good Family Law Lawyer.

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