My Ex Wants This Weekend With Our Child, But It's My Weekend! What do I do?

parent and children walking away


Ontario Family Law Podcast

7 - Custody of the Children - what it means and how it is decided

24 - How to Have a Valid and Enforceable Separation Agreement

32 - How to Change a Support Order

35 - Resolving Children's Issues Outside of Court

A carefully drafted separation agreement, Family Court Order,  or parenting plan will anticipate most things that will come up in a child's life.  But, it is not possible to anticipate everything.  Things always change for children and unanticipated things creep up.  Judges understand that, even when a judge has spent the time determining what custody order is in a child's best interest.  So, where parents can agree that a change to what is set out in a court order, either for once or permanently, is in a child's best interest, then judges understand - unless a children's aid society or the judge's order says that no changes are allowed. In most cases, judges (and children's aid societies) like it when parents can agree to changes to schedules, and other aspects of their children’s lives, in ways that benefit their children.


With judges preferring parents being flexible to meet their children's best interests, the purpose of Parenting Orders, parenting plans or separation agreements is to really to set out what will happen when the parents, unfortunately, cannot agree.  When parents cannot agree whether something is in a child's best interest, the "fall back" is what is in the Court Order, parenting plan or separation agreement.  Put another way, if the parents do not agree to deviate from the parenting plan, one of them cannot to so without getting a judge to change the Court Order or agreement


When a parent asks a judge to change a Parenting Order or agreement, the judge will decide what to do based on what is in the child's best interest. It is possible that decision is not what one, or both, parents want.   Also, a parent who refused unreasonably refused to cooperate with the other parent, or denied to make changes without a good reason, may get in trouble from the judge.  That parent may have to pay the other parent's legal fees.  Or, can lose custody of the child if the judge thinks the parent was trying to harm the child's relationship with the other parent.  It is always best to try to be reasonable and cooperate when it comes to parenting after separation - even when the other parent is being unreasonable. 


The process for going back to court can be quite complicated, and involve several court appearances.  Before going to court, it is important for a parent to gather the evidence that what they want is in the child's best interest.  All that will not be worth it for one simple change.  And, it is unlikely you will get the change made or an upcoming weekend.  (Note, it is best to get travel consents arranged months in advance to avoid court delays.)  Parents who find that they have a lot of difficulty cooperating with the other parent and the Court Order or Parenting Plan does not resolve the issues, may want to consider using a parenting coordinator.  That professional can quickly either assist with, or make, parenting decisions, such as whether a child should attend a special event on an upcoming weekend.  It is important to keep a child insulated from, or losing out because of, fights between parents.


But, when the other parent is being unreasonable, or causing unnecessary fights or stress, then that parent should see a family lawyer right away to know your options and how best to protect and ensure stability for the child. Contact Certified Specialist in Family Law, John Schuman, by emailing him, calling 416-446-4036, or using the contact form below.  We answer all inquiries promptly and we can arrange for you to come in quickly for a consultation (charged at a reduced hourly rate).

Guide to the Basics of Ontario Family Law - 4th edition cover


You can get a lot more information about Ontario Family Law issues, including a further explanation of child custody and parenting legal issues by downloading this $9.99 e-book for KindleKobo, or iPad/iPhone/Mac or ordering the paperback version.  But, to keep out of trouble, it is always best to speak with a good family law lawyer. 

Guide to the Basics of Ontario Family Law Available on Kindle
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Many thousands of people get family law assistance from this website everyday.  If you have found this page useful, please share it on your social network using the Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Pinterest buttons at the bottom of the page.  Please comment on this page using the comments section at the bottom to share your thoughts on the legal parenting issues after separation and how to best to protect the children. 

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