Should the Kids Be Involved in the Divorce???

Parents involved in a separation and divorce often wonder if the children should be involved in the process of creating a new reality for the family. On the one hand, the change has a profound impact on every aspect of a child’s life and changes his or her life forever. Because of that, children often want input. On the other hand, separation and divorce involve a lot of adult issues, there is no doubt that exposure to conflict between parents has a negative impact on kids and often children do need or want the stress of having to make decisions about their parents, which can sometimes mean making decisions FOR their parents. Nobody wants to hurt their own kids. On this page, you will find crucial information and links to protect your children in a divorce or separation.

Start by watching this one-minute video that explains the basics of the role that children can play in separation, divorce and child custody cases.

John recently did a TV interview on what role children should play in their parent’s divorce. The video, below, discusses, in greater detail, whether the children should be involved, and whether their opinion matters in court. John also explains what to do if a child does not want to see one parent and what happens if a parent brings a child to family court. As a Certified Specialist in Family Law, with years of experience, John explains how to protect your kids in a separation or divorce.

John Schuman is an expert on the voice of the child. He is known for his sensitivity to children’s interests and his concerns for children’s rights. Divorce Source Radio interviewed John on “Kids in Divorce.” You can listen to that interview by CLICKING HERE. John has also done many public appearances discussing what role the children should play in their parent’s separation or divorce and how to best protect the children during that process.

John gave a comprehensive lecture to legal professionals on how to allow children to be heard in custody/access proceedings. The Ontario Family Law Podcast recorded that lecture and you can now listen to it by going to this page. In that lecture, John covered the options for getting a child’s views and preferences before a judge or family arbitrator. He also provided the authority for each option and tips for when, and when not to use them.

One of John’s “intimate and interactive discussions” was converted into another episode of the Ontario Family Law Podcast. John discusses the issue of what to do if a child says he does not want to see the other parent on this page. You can also learn how to help a child who is desperate to be heard in divorce court by reading this article. On the left are links to several articles and other media about children’s issues in divorce and separation. 

The following is an excerpt from John Schuman’s Book The Devry Smith Frank Guide to the Basics of Ontario Family Law. This section discusses the roles that children can play in their parent’s separation and divorce. (The full book is available as an e-book for Amazon Kindle or Kobo, and as an iBook for iPad, iPhone and Mac, or as a paperback from Amazon and other fine book sellers. You also get one at initial consults with John that can be booked by calling 416-446-4036,

Contact Us

To contact John Schuman, Certified Specialist in Family Law, call 416-446-5847, email him at, or use the form on this page.

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