Should the Kids Be Involved in the Divorce???


Parents involved in a separation and divorce often wonder if the children should be involved in the process of creating the new reality for the family.  On the one hand, the change has profound impact on every aspect of a child’s life and changes his or her life forever.  Because of that, children often want input.  On the other hand, separation and divorce involve a lot of adult issues, there is no doubt that exposure to conflict between parents has a negative impact on kids and often children do need or want the stress of having to make decisions about their parents, which can sometimes mean making decisions FOR their parents.  Nobody wants to hurt their own kids.  On this page you will find crucial information and links to protect your children in a divorce or separation.


Start by watching this one minute video that explains the basics of the role that children can play in separation, divorce and child custody cases.



John recently did a TV interview on what role children should play in their parent's divorce.  The video, below, discusses, in greater detail, whether the children should be involved, and whether their opinion matters in court.  John also explains what to do if a child does not want to see one parent and what happens if a parent brings a child to family court.  As a Certified Specialist in Family Law, with years of experience, John explains how to protect your kids in a separation or divorce.

MOre on Custody Questions…

For more information about the law in relation to custody of children, see this blog on what custody means and this blog on how judges decide who gets custody

Watch this video on child custody issues and how to decide what is best for the children.

This page covers what do do if a parent is denying access.  

This page discusses the problem of children not wanting to go for access visits.  

Click here to find out how to help a child get heard in his parent's divorce or separation.

Or, listen to this audio podcast on child custody and access and this podcast on the different types of custody and how judges decide between them.

Watch this video on moving away with the kids.


John Schuman is an expert on the voice of the child.  He is known for his sensitivity for children's' interests and his concerns for children's rights.  Divorce Source Radio interviewed John on "Kids in Divorce."  You can listen to that interview by CLICKING HERE.  John has also done many public appearances discussing what role the children should play int their parent’s separation or divorce and how to best to protect the children during that process.  


John gave a comprehensive lecture to legal professionals on how to allow children to be heard in custody/access proceedings. The Ontario Family Law Podcast recorded that lecture and you can now listen to it by going to this page.  In that lecture, John covered the options for getting a child’s views and preferences before a judge or family arbitrator.  He also provided the authority for each option and tips for when, when not, to use them.


One of John’s “intimate and interactive discussions” was converted into another episode of the Ontario Family Law Podcast. John discusses the issue of what to do if a child says he does not want to see the other parent on this page.   You can listen to that episode by CLICKING HERE.  You can also learn how to help a child who is desperate to be heard in divorce court by reading this article.  On the left are links to several articles and other media about children's issues in divorce and separation. 


The following is an excerpt from John Schuman’s Book The Devry Smith Frank Guide to the Basics of Ontario Family Law.  This section discusses the roles that children can play in their parent’s separation and divorce.  (The full book is available as an e-book for Amazon Kindle or Kobo, and as an iBook for iPad, iPhone and Mac, or as a paperback from Amazon and other fine book sellers.  You also get one at initial consults with John that can be booked through Brooke Kennedy at 416-446-5847 or click here to email her.) 


Moving away with the Children


© John P. Schuman 2014