How Do You Win A Parenting/Child Custody Case? Put the Kids First
From the change to the Divorce and Family Laws to eliminate the term child custody, it is clear that the law is more concerned about the kids than their parents. Whether a parent puts the kids needs ahead of their own is also very important to a judge. But how can parents in family court show they are putting their kids first? Read on and this article will give you useful legal tips.
The term “child custody” put too much emphasis on the parents and treated the kids a little like objects. It also turned the kids into a prize. Parenting professionals stopped using the term custody long ago. Family Court judges were eager to follow suit. They wanted the focus on what the children needed, and how to make sure the children thrived after separation.
There are no such things as parental rights. Just like using the term “child custody”, talking about parental rights is a way to turn a family court judge against you. Demanding custody will ensure that your ex has the kids in his or her care.
Instead, to succeed in your family court case over the kids, look at things from the kid’s perspective. Put their needs and their perspective first. If you are in family court, you not only have to do that, you have to makes sure what SAY reflects that.
Talking and Writing to Win
Don’t say “my time with kids.” Say “the kids parenting time with me.” Parenting time is the right of the kids. There are no parental rights.
Don’t say “I need to make decisions about the kids.” That sounds like you need to win and don’t care about the kids. Say, “the kids need someone who can make the right decisions for them, quickly and here are examples of when I have done that.”
When you or your lawyer write an affidavit, or talk in court, avoid using the pronoun “I”. Also avoid saying anything that makes you the subject of a sentence about parenting. Make the kids the subject of the sentence and the parent the object of the sentence. Doing that puts the kids first. It shows the parent making the statement puts the kids first. Most importantly, it shows that the parent making the statement is the one that can meet the kids needs.
If you don’t know how to do this, don’t worry. An excellent family lawyer will be able to guide you, or write your court materials that way. Remember, if you can’t afford a good lawyer to do every part of your case, you may be able to afford a that good lawyer to just write your court documents. Or you could have that lawyer review what you have written and tell you how to revise it to make a judge like your documents, and you, even more.
Then the judge will want the kids to be with you.
This article specifically addressed the parenting laws in Ontario and Canada. The specific laws in relation to parenting arrangements for children may be different in other jurisdictions. However, the approaches of family judges in most Western legal systems is very similar to the approaches of judges as described above.
Get Help With Your Parenting Case
Making parenting decisions after separation, especially in high conflict separations, can be extremely difficult. Doing the wrong thing can have horrendous consequences. Before you make any big decisions after separation, read a copy of this $9.99 eBook on Ontario Family Law (paperback also available).
To get the best advice, specific to your situation, you should speak to a family lawyer. Certified Specialist in Family Law, John Schuman, is known for his concern for children in separation and divorce and has won many parenting cases. To contact John call 647-342-6774, email him, or fill out the form below. You can use the same form to comment on this page.