What do you do if your child’s other parent (mother or father) won’t let you have your access visits?

If your children’s other parent (mother or father)  is repeatedly denying you access, against a court order, then you should keep track of the circumstances. But do not let it go on too long.  You should go back to court, on a motion, and ask for the court to order make-up access for the time you have missed at times that work for the children and you.  The judge will not be happy that your ex is not obeying the court order.  He or she will get told off.  While the judge will always make the order that is in the best interests of the children (more on this webpage), an important factor in that is how willing a parent is to support another parent.  Bringing a contempt motion right after a problem starts might make you look like a bully or part of the problem.  However, if the problem persists, then you can use the judges comments on the first motion (for make-up time) as part of your evidence in the contempt motion and the second judge will probably be really angry. 

While it is important to be patient and measured in your actions while being denied access, so that the judge sees you as a victim and not part of the problem, you should never give up trying to see your kids.  Keep going to the pick-ups, even if they are not there.  Keep knocking on the door at the times you are supposed to go.  Send your kids cards, emails and texts that tell them that you love them.  It is important that you child not feel like you have abandoned them – and kids can feel that way even if you are not willingly missing the access.    Trying to maintain contact demonstrates to both your kids and the court how valuable your relationship with your children is, which can make the task of re-establishing access much easier.

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